Good News For L4 And L5

Like most compadres, I have a back of questionable integrity.

Slipped/herniated/protruding/bulging discus betwixt L4 and L5.

The last two years have perpetrated some nasty sciatica.

I’ve hit the physiotherapy, the cortisone injection, the BKS Iyengar Yoga, the Thai massage (where they trod on my jewels), the Chinese acupuncture, pretending it’s all in my head, and, of course, lots and lots and lots of Tylenol.

Imagine my concern at having 10 lbs of live weight dangle from my torso. For hours.

BUT/HOWEVER/THEREAFTER…

Much to my surprise, since I’ve had this fart-knocker plastered to my chest, all pain has magically disappeared (!)

Still not sure how this sprog therepy works. But it does.

I’m gonna rent her out, charge people to walk around with her strapped to their spare tires.

Apart from medicinal applications, baby-walking also has its social perks… specially with chicks.

For the fair sex, the sight of an hombre out taking some air with his offspring is the visual equivalent of a tub of chocolatey ice-cream smothered in a marathon of Bridezilla:

They get positively dreamy, start cooing and waving.

And a guy with a baby AND a dog?! Suffice to say it's a good thing I'm such a chastely chappie.