I was speaking to a buddy of mine the other day and he was telling me about babies in India...

[For some reason my mom has it in her head that in India and Africa 'they don't use colic calm or zantac or prevasid' and they just care for their babies naturally]

Anyway, this guy tells me that mothers in India slip their kids a bit of opium to calm them down... you know a smidge for om shanti's sake.

Some of this is probably because the tiny tots are starving for food, but also it can help keep them sedated so the beggar who rents them out can peddle the traffic light without a baby shrieking away his patrons.

Whatever the case, I'll tell you right now if I had a bundle of poppies out back, I'd crush them into little baby bliss balls faster than you can say Kandahar.

But I don't. So zantac it is.