Mochi Growls Back

Overwhelmed with work and infant, I’ve finally agreed (after much begging on her part) to allow my boxer, Mochi, to take over.

[Pardon any mistakes… my dog translation skills are poor.]

Yo dawg! It’s Mochi!

Here's my observations:

Every night there is howling in our bedroom as Alpha tries using a sleep sheep to teach the baby to remain awake, alert and on guard. I dragged this contraption to my den last night and, using my paws, discovered it makes bizarre noises – rain, ocean, whale song – strange, but very relaxing.


Also...

The little one is horribly deformed – five fingers on its paws instead of four. These are so tiny (and scrumptious-looking), I think if I get a chance, I’ll chew them off as a favor. You know… save her the embarrassment when gets to high school.

And another thing, when I walk my humans, I am perplexed by how obsessed they are with doo-doo. Though I’ve repeatedly demonstrated how to squat on the grass, they stubbornly refuse to learn this technique. Instead, these modified primates praise me and stash my crap in blue bags! Without even sniffing! Though I’ve sometimes wondered what top dog does with these bags, I’m sure the answer is not good.

Finally, what I find most disheartening is my family's’ inability to lick themselves clean. For the record, I am volunteering to lick this baby head to toe... after I lick my botty and totty (cleanliness begins at home, right?).